Hope Has Come to Longs Drugs

This afternoon I was waiting in line at the pharmacy to pick up what some like to call "the cocktail." Perhaps that was too much information. Perhaps I have an empty void in my soul that can only be filled by divulging horribly private information about myself to whomever cares to listen.

Clearly, the kind staff at Longs hadn't gotten the memo about my Universal Fast Pass, valid EVERYWHERE. You haven't lived until you've shoved a homeless man to the ground because the Matzo Ball soup at the local Y is just that good. Begrudgingly, I was forced to wait behind four commoners. An older lady came scurrying up to the front of the line and proclaimed that she was "really late for a dentist appointment" and could she "please cut to the front? I only have one prescription."

"I'm really late for the dentist!"

The line took an impromptu vote, lead by the man with the tattered jeans and Converse All-Stars at the front. The vote was nearly unanimous. The lone hold out being the bitch in front of me. I swear to Allah, if I ever find her...

What really struck me though was what Mr. Trendy Pants said after that: "This is a good day to start doing that." That day, of course, being inauguration day.

That statement really affected me, it was actually quite emotional. Based purely on that one experience, I can whole heatedly say that this country is headed for a prosperous time. People are more hopeful, and consequently, happier.

To sum up: Can anyone hook me up with a Fast Pass?

I'm pretty sure I got scammed.