The Future is Now

Emily was at school last night (that's what she calls her other boyfriend), so I decided to order myself a pizza. Rather than go for quality, I went for technology. I just really wanted to get that feeling back, you know the one I'm talking about. Remember the first time you saw "The Net"? Remember when Sandy Bullock (we're pally like that) signed online and ordered a fucking pizza? This was in 1995, mind you. That shit blew my mind.

Sadly, she was never heard from again.

My pizza house of choice was Domino's, because unfortunately, only shitty pizzeria's let you order online. Whatever, totally worth it. Come to think of it, the best part of that pizza was ordering it. Anyway, check out what the geniuses over at Domino's have invented:

It's kinda hard to read, but the progress bar is broken up into order placed, prep, bake, box, deliver. I literally stared at this flashing bar for 30 minutes until my pizza arrived. This is the pinnacle of technology, people. It's all downhill from here...

Tombstone Pizza Vending Machine [Great Moments In Humanity]

Not Pictured: Newborn baby vending machine on the left.

This brings up so many questions:

1. Where is this and why isn't there one next to me right now?
2. Do the pizza's come out in a box?
3. Are they cooked in the machine or refilled manually by a Mexican who hates his life?
4. What if you don't like pepperoni?