Facebook Great For Killing Time, And People! [Internet Meets Life]

Wayne Forrester is your typical 34 year-old British man. He enjoys bangers & mash, alcohol, cocaine, and murder. I'm getting ahead of myself, let's rewind.

THAT'S bangers and mash? WTF is wrong with the British?

Emma Forrester was fed up with her sausage loving husband (complete speculation) of 15 years and decided it was time to end things. So she kicked him out, presumably on his arse. A few days later Emma changed her Facebook relationship status to "single" which pissed off crazy Wayne beyond belief. He drove to her house, fueled by a cocktail of alcohol and cocaine, and proceeded to stab her with a kitchen knife and meat cleaver. Which begs the question, was the cleaver really necessary?

Judge Brian Barker, the Common Serjeant of London, told him: "You committed a terrible act. There is no possible excuse or justification.

Judge Barker clearly doesn't have a Facebook profile. I totally sympathize with Wayne, that bitch had it coming. How dare she seperate from her truck driving (true), drug addict husband and then have the balls to let the whole damn internet know? She's seriously lucky he only killed her and didn't make her into a throw rug or something.

Disclaimer: I do not condone murder IRL.

[Via BBC News]

Your Favorite British, Car Based TV Show

Last night, as I lounged around the compound, sipping on Cognac and making sure all the velvet on my robe was brushed in the same direction, I was enjoying a little British program called Top Gear.

Saying Top Gear is about cars is like saying I've got great hygine, it's just not true. It's more about the three hosts and their interaction with each other. Without them, the show would be complete shit.

Left to Right: Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond, James May
Not Pictured: Donatello and Raphael

Though he looks like a huge fruit, that little guy in the middle is more of a badass than any of you will ever be.



That's him driving, and subsequently crashing, something called the Vampire Dragster, a jet-powered car that's theoretically capable of reaching a top speed of 370 mph.

"He was travelling at 288.3mph (464 km/h) at the time of the crash, but when the jet car overturned and the roll cage dug into the ground he was still going at 232mph (373.4 km/h), with the top of his helmet dragging along the ground; it has been speculated that if he were any taller, he would have been decapitated."

Though he suffered "significant brain injury," the little fucker returned to work less than 5 months later. I took 2 weeks off from work due to a sprained O-Ring once. Hammond knocked on Death's door, kicked him in the balls, and went right back to work.

You can catch Top Gear on BBC America, who is currently airing Season 8.
Or you can watch Season 11, currently airing in the UK via BitTorrent. Legality: questionable.